Not the road less traveled

Ever since this mind boggling realization that ADD was real and it was not my son's fault but a real malady, I have been on the search for a cure. I want my son to live a long and happy life free of any disability that would diminish his enjoyment of this gift we call life. We have seen many doctors, counselors, psychiatrists, therapists, educational specialists, neurologists, neuropsychologists, read books, gone to seminars, joined CHADD and gone to meetings, and even started a parents help group for the local area not served by CHADD, gone to AA and alanon meetings to try to stem a natural desire to self medicate and control the symptoms that the doctors are failing to alieve. I even came up with some cute T-shirts designed to show my son it was okay to have ADD and start accepting it rather that fight it and deny it because the books and tapes available to do this just were not getting the message accross. It is through more than a decade of this windy often rocky road that I have come to beleive some key fundamental things regarding ADD. ADD is an umbrella term that encompasses many different maladies, and to top it off, the list of comorbid diseases that often accompany ADD are enough to confuse all but the most knowledgable and highly specialized doctors around. In some uncomplicated cases people respond quite well to medicines and psychotherapy. Some just need a diet change or allergies addressed properly. For more difficult cases brain scans seem to be the only hope for an effective solution to the various aggrevious symptoms. In the future we will not so much address these problems as ADD som much as we will more specifically diagnose the problems to various specific parts of the brain through brain scans. This is fast becoming a more effective solution for such a confusing problem. This personally has been the most miraculous breakthrough in our entire ordeal. Finally we got answers to our most perplexing dilemmas. The tools are now becoming available and the experts in the field are earning more credibility from the medical community all the time. (no small feat at that!) Soon even the medical insurance companies will cover these proceedures and we all will feel like it has become commonplace to deal with mental infirmities just like we deal with the physical ones, which by the way we are far from conquering. Psychology is exiting the stone age, and we are now looking at the organ involved and understanding so much more. I am glad this was available for my son.

ADD Exercise #2

ADD activity #2

Spelling- want to see why your ADD child has such illegible handwriting?
(this one helps to have a partner say the spelling words and time them appropriately, like a real spelling test)

1. Sit down on a firm chair and place a pad of paper on your lap with your legs together and feet flat on the floor.
2. Place your name and date on top of the page and then number from 1 to 10 down the left side of the page.
3. Now turn the pad of paper upside down and place your pencil or pen in the other hand.
4. Now (with your partner saying one word, repeated every 10 seconds for a total of 3 times and 30 seconds per word)
spell the following 10 words next to the numbers 1-10. You should be writing upside down with the wrong hand and going from right to left. Also, as you are doing this you need to make circles with your feet- the right foot going clockwise, and your left foot going counter clockwise-
Ready? Begin.

1) pretty, 2)lime, 3) bend, 4) canvas, 5) regular, 6) investment, 7) opportunity, 8) frustration, 9) bartender, 10) individual.

Any of us can spell these words in 10 seconds with much time to spare. Most children can do this easily in 30 seconds. I added larger words for us adults to keep this fair. Adults spelling childrens words and comparing themselves to children is silly. We only start out easy so you can get the hang of it.
It also helps when halfway through as we start to fall behind your partner periodically tells us to "pay attention" and "try harder" When the time is up, turn the paper rightside up and see how many words you actually completed. Does the handwriting look familiar? How do you feel?


I first learned these exercises from attending a seminar on ADD taught by Dr. Barkley if I remember correctly. Many parents ran outside during the break to call their spouses telling them not to spank or punish the children any more. We learned how to see more than just the world through the eyes of our children that day, we learned what we looked like too, and that wasn't very pretty.

Learning to be ADD

ADD activity #1

This activity will show you that having ADD does not mean you are stupid. You know the information, you just don't control the access or distribution of this information very well.

Recite 2 easy nursery rhymes. We all know them backwards and forwards.

1- Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow.
2- Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

now for the ADD part- without looking at the above rhymes, recite the first word of Mary had a little lamb, then the first word of Jack and Jill, then the second word of Mary had a little lamb, followed by the second word of Jack and Jill, then the third word of Mary. . . etc. . . all the way through both rhymes.

I couldn't do it either, even though I tried REALLY hard. As you are doing this its nice to have a partner slapping you on the wrist every 30 seconds for "Not trying hard enough" or "Not paying attention" and threatening you with grounding or no dessert, etc. . . Now we are entering the world of our Alpha Delta Deltas.

What is ADD Really?

The journey leads next to discovery. I needed to know what this ADD thing is and what I could do to help my son. What was he going through? When was he capable of doing things and when will he need help? How can I tell the difference between him not being able to achieve and just not wanting to cooperate or participate? Are meds necessary? Can diet and environment affect him? What are some alternative interventions that can help him return his attention to the task on hand? What kind of tools can help? What are behavior mods? Where can I find them? Which ones really work? Who can I talk to about all this? and on and on and on. Just as I get one question answered, ten more pop up. I was sinking fast. This was not going to be easy and all my wonderful HELPFUL friends and relatives were going to have to shut up and keep their opinions to themselves for awhile. Spanking, time outs, no TV, etc. . . did not work. I needed something and we were ALL clueless, except I was the only one who knew it.
My son was getting kicked out of class around 3 times per week and I had to come get him. How could I work? Wasn't school supposed to be able to deal with him? Isn't there more than just my son with ADD in this school? Does everybody who has a child with ADD have to leave work early to deal with their child? More questions and nobody had answers, that is until I found books on the subject. Even the psychologist that we got referred to just sat and talked with my son. That was it. I never got any info or feedback. I was just supposed to understand he was getting help. What kind of help and when it would become apparent was irrelevent I guess. The books helped, and soon the authors would do speaking tours and I got to go to a seminar conducted by a nationally renowned expert. This class by Dr. Barkley was fantastic. It really opened up my eyes as to what my son was going through. He mentioned a group called CHADD and said they had local branches and they could help answer questions.
What was profoundly insightful about the seminar was he actually made us all have ADD for a moment so we could REALLY understand what our children were going through and see the difference between having a disability and being intelligent. You CAN have both, as Alpha Delta Delta's do. Next- becoming ADD.